Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
