some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
