Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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