If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
