pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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