he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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