CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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