Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
