Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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