dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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