The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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