if i died would you start the facebook group?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
