thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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