do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
