do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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