I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
