The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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