Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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