problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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