i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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