Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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