I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
