saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
