Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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