you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
