You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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