i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
