i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize