hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
