dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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