ugly people sure do ruin things
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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