I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
