This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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