Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
