everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
