what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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