belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
