Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
