My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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