last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
