Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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