nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
