Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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