Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
