dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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