I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
