I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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