Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize