Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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