its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
