If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
