i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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