Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
