Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
