BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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