is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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