The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm determined to sit on that face.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
