Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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