The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
